Good lord am I laughing hard right now. And it's 1:31 AM!!!

You raise some amazing points in that post. All of which I agree with... especially the way characters enter the world... That will narrow down the list tremendously. That will be number one on my agenda tomorrow... figure out who is living and who has died or has even come close to dying in a dream sequence, coma, etc... Well, lets work on that one together. Ooooh, Da Brundage is in cause he almost drowned. Sweet.

And even if you're out for only a few minutes or seconds in the "real world" that could be ages in Ghost War. But I guess I can delete people off the list like Shelly, or Chase, unless we really want to make up a story about "fake" deaths. Though I definitely like the idea of only working with what the actual show gives us.

I'll search my emails tomorrow for "zoom".

Billy Zoom

Didn't we have a whole story thread about Billy Zoom? I remember it from our emails, but I don't think I've added it as a post yet. Can you find anything?

For real! The main THRUST...

Yes indeed. I think the main thrust, the main cast of characters, are the dead ones, with some liberties taken. Dan Scott being the main liberty, but I think it's obvious he has no issue crossing between universes as he chooses. Wherever there's a war, that's where he is. But this is no simple good vs. evil fight. There's obviously the Scott brothers conflict, which also involves their childhood flashback counterparts. I guess we have to make a choice on the Dan/Sears relationship, because originally we had them as enemies, but then the next day they were high-fiving over holding child Keith's hand over a fire. I'm thinking the entire story line begins with Dan Scott fighting hard to bring John Sears into the Ghost War world. At first they have a relationship that's a lot like Old Biff and Young Biff in Back To The Future II. "Leave me alone, OLD MAN! I'm not interested in fighting your dead brother in a quasi-afterlife! There are a lot of depressed, homeless, 16 year-old girls in L.A. that I have yet to sweet talk and skewer!" Dan will not take no for an answer of course, so he chokes Sears to death by shoving a deflated basketball down his wind-pipe. Now crossing over into the Ghost War, Sears is pissed, but elated to find he has the power to shoot an endless supply of black marbles out of his mouth. Unfortunately he can't shoot them very far or with much velocity, because his throat is still clogged with a basketball. So he runs in circles around Dan spilling marbles out of his mouth hoping Dan will make a wrong move and slip, which Dan is somehow able to avoid. He watches this spectacle for a full five minutes and then calls Sears a "schmuck" before he puts a supernatural collar on him and gets him under control. So the Sears/Scott war is ended, and Dan Team vs. Keith Team begins, with lots of interrupting story arcs, some of which will include:

*Peyton's mom's huntresses that are ghosts but HATE ghosts
*attempts by both teams to get Whitey on their side, who has been on the edge of death for fifty years at least
*sort of a constantly running sideline story of the loner Jimmy Edwards, always walking around with his sweatshirt hood on, looking mysterious. He watches every fight, but never chooses a side, might meddle occasionally, but only to keep things fair. He's the only one in Ghost War with a legit gun.
*another side story is Jimmy Edwards vs. Mick Wolf, who crosses over into Ghost War after electrocuting himself onstage after crying over his daughter on a live wire. One loner vs. another, except one is super cool and one is just a mixture of depression and anger

And so on. There are a lot of brushes with death on One Tree Hill, so everytime someone almost dies, they pass into the Ghost War universe for that time. So Nathan, Cooper, and Rachel would have all visited when the car went off the bridge. And maybe people cross over during insane trauma, like Brooke comes over everytime she gets the shit beat out of her by an intruder.

*VERY NECESSARY NOTE* I'm posting this at almost 11pm and I started writing it around 7, so I may already be behind! My computer shut off on its own at one point and I almost cried like Keith when Lucas is in the hospital. But then I got it back up and the draft was saved through Blogger, and I cried like Keith when Lucas got chest hair.

Now We're TALKIN'!

And 40s Mouth's dad could be played by Dave Foley, obviously reprising his role as Mr. Heavy Foot, the ultimate dream come true (for me).

This gets me thinking that there are a plethora of characters that we have not even begun to touch... and touch we will! Here is a MORE comprehensive list straight from IMDB:

We will need to break these up into good vs. bad.

Chad Michael Murray - Lucas Scott
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

James Lafferty - Nathan Scott
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other: Catchphrase - "Ooo yeah you disgusting hooker"

Hilarie Burton - Peyton Sawyer
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Bethany Joy Galeotti - Haley James Scott
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Paul Johansson - Dan Scott (E)
Traits: Bret Hart Wrap-Around Shades, Black Trench Coat, Constantly Killing Himself To Reinvent His Ghost
Superpowers: Magneto style basketball control, secret exercising, sleep push-ups
Other: Alliance with John Sears, Vampire?

Sophia Bush - Brooke Davis
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Barbara Alyn Woods - Deb Scott
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Lee Norris - 'Mouth' McFadden
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Moira Kelly - Karen Roe
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Barry Corbin - Coach Whitey Durham
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Antwon Tanner - Skills
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Craig Sheffer - Keith Scott
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Danneel Harris - Rachel Gatina (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Brett Claywell - Tim Smith
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Bevin Prince - Bevin Mirskey
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Jackson Brundage - James Lucas Scott (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Lisa Goldstein - Millicent
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Vaughn Wilson - Fergie
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Cullen Moss - Junk
Traits: Literally an inanimate trash heap of junk
Superpowers: Decompose, Rot, Stink, Heavy

Bryan Greenberg - Jake Jagielski
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Kieren Hutchison - Andy Hargrove
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Shawn Shepard - Principal Turner (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Michaela McManus - Lindsey Strauss
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Kelsey Chow - Gigi Silveri
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Tyler Hilton - Chris Keller
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Torrey DeVitto - Carrie (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Robbie Jones - Quentin
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Kate Voegele - Mia (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Joe Manganiello - Owen
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Ashley Rickards - Samantha
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Daphne Zuniga - Victoria Davis (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Michael Copon - Felix Taggaro (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Daniella Alonso - Anna Taggaro (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Stephen Colletti - Chase Adams (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Maria Menounos - Jules (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Emmanuelle Vaugier - Nicki (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Sheryl Lee Elizabeth - 'Ellie' Harp
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Kelly Collins Lintz - Alice
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Austin Nichols - Julian
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Matt Barr - Derek (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

William Haze - Rick
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Kevin Kilner - Larry Sawyer
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Michael Trucco - Cooper Lee
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Elisabeth Harnois - Shelley Simon
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Sarah Edwards - Theresa
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Rick Fox - Daunte (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Thomas Ian Griffith - Larry Sawyer
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Katherine Bailess - Erica Marsh (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Conrad Goode - Bear (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Dorothy Recasner Brown - Doctor Hale
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Amber Wallace - Glenda Farrell
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Patrick Stogner - Young Keith
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Bradley Evans - Jerry
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Austin James - Terry
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Colin Fickes - Jimmy Edwards
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Amy Parrish - Shari Smith
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Johnny Alonso - Joey D.
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Lindsey McKeon - Taylor James (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Ernest Waddell - Derek Sommers
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Rey Valentin - Nick Chavez (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Kevin Federline - Jason (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Burgess Jenkins - Bobby Irons
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

B.J. Britt - Devon
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Tilky Jones - Dude
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Brendan Kirsch - Brendan
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Michael Harding - Chief
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Hawk Younkins - Will Sims
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Peter Wentz - Himself
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Cari Moskow - Prostitute
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Jessica Lucas - Dr. Kiki
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Allison Scagliotti - Abby Brown
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Landon Ashworth - Josh
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

David Bridgewater - Reeves
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Marcus Lyle Brown - Father Gillespie
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

John Cates - Rusty
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Mary Kate Englehardt - Lily Roe Scott (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Devin McGee - Xavier
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Michael Beasley - Mike Wilson
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Chris Beetem - Dr. Ethan Copeland
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Wilbur Fitzgerald - Bill
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Jaden Harmon - Andre Fields
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Haviland Morris - Marriage Counselor Olivia
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

John Doe - Mick Wolf
Traits:
Superpowers: Hanging Out In Recording Studios All Day While Crime Is Happening Elsewhere
Other:

Austin Carty - Young Dan (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Nancy Moreno - Young Karen
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Melissa Ponzio - Alice
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Andrew Seeley - Johnny 'Vegas' Norris
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Jason Davis - Mr. Kelly
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Melissa Claire Egan - Lori
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Gavin DeGraw - Himself
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Julianna Guill - Ashley
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Bess Armstrong - Lydia James
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Blake Bashoff - Gary
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Ann Cusack - Family Therapist
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Rick Forrester - Matt Perry
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Huey Lewis - Jim James
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Joan Severance - Cynthia Price
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Greg Thompson - Dr. Adams
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Texas Battle - Tony Battle
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Kenzie Dalton - Cheerleader
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Fall Out Boy - The Band (N)
Traits: House band for all Ghost Battles
Superpowers:
Other:

Ron Clinton Smith - Otis
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Patrick Stump - Himself
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Joseph Trohman - Himself
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Mark Schwahn - Max (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Marcus Coloma - Marcus
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Zachary Dylan Smith - Young Dan (E)
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Renee Vincent - Mrs. Edwards
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Chase Anderson - Sheldon
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Dawnn Lewis - Denise Fields
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Michael May - Chuck Scolnik
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Lee Spencer - Bill
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Dikran Tulaine - John Knight
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Hailey Wist - Molly
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:


NEW CHARACTERS:

Zombie Elvis
Traits: House DJ
Superpowers: ultimate stiffarm, country music lecturing

Paul Johansson - John Sears
Traits:
Superpowers:
Other:

Adam Mason - Mac Tech
Traits:
Superpowers: Sticker removal
Other:


I figure we take each of these characters and expand them into the Ghost War. Bios, favorite milkshakes, whatever... and I'll make this like a main link or something. So we can access them ALL THE TIME. And I guess whenever we post about one of these characters we can add a label for the post and then all the characters will show up on the right hand side or sumptin... we'll see... but for now, there's the list.

I never knew Huey Lewis' character was Jim James... awesome.

I finally thought of something to add!

There is no better basis for the formation of a universe than what's been posted here already. I've been reading it and felt awful because I couldn't think of anything to add. Realistically, things get added when the show's on and things are happening that will eventually be incorporated into Ghost Wars. But once in a while we'll be able to think of things to add. So I finally thought of one too. One more Ghost War character that has to be added: 40s Mouth. He's dead? He's in. I think he'll probably serve as a comic foil. He'll get pushed around, and he'll fall over and not be able to get up because his feet are covered in cement. "Aw geez" will be his catchphrase. And he has to hop around with that giant cement brick holding his feet together. Always falling behind. Poor 40s mouth. He'd probably be some kind of pathetic sidekick to Keith. He would have powers though. Basically he'd do a little jump with his cement base and crash it down, that loosens up the cement. Then he gets angry and starts shaking, and little bits of cement shoot off of the base, and yes he can control them.

Also, while we're talking about the 40s episode, I'm guessing that at some point during the Ghost Wars, the Keith and the Dan sides, and the Peyton's mom's sides, will all join forces to prevent Chad Michael Murray from writing another episode. Make a ghost of his intentions, and beat it into dust.

Come To Think Of It...

If ever an animator, cartoonist, the dude who did X-Ray Cat (if that was Tom Green, great, we love him) sees this blog and happens to love and have a vast (and deep) knowledge about One Tree Hill... and doesn't mind drawing (and hopefully animating) Hot 20-something Cyborg Ghosts reeeeeally having it out... in the future, please give us a call (or preferably an email (or even a comment)). WE want to work with YOU. Because we can't draw it. And we certainly don't have access to removing the current actor's limbs and replacing them with hardware (and nanotechnology).

Thanks.

Covering The Bases

It will be mandatory that all public gatherings on the show will be deejayed by a zombie Elvis who will only play country music while lecturing about the history of the performers, songwriters, and musicians in the genre. Peyton will always try to rush the DJ booth (her feet are now tank tire treads, so get that image in your mind) to put on some NEW JAM that the Max pushed on her. But Zombie Elvis will pull one of his "ELVIS MOVES" (please elaborate for me Adam) and pretty much stiff arm her in the glass box that now resides where her cancerous ovaries once were. In the box? On one side, the reanimated head of her mother (take your pick which one) and on the other, Huey Lewis (now no longer with Hailey's original mother). They get along great.

Max is now an android warlock, fueled by DRM Free MP3s.

All Posts Prior To This...

...are from the past. Just accept it - All the way back to Feb. If I can figure out how to re-date them and change up the post authors I will... but until then, just use your imagination about which Adam is speaking directly to your heart of hearts. The answer is either K or M. Figure it out.

Where's The Video Contest?!?

I have not heard of a contest yet. Hopefully this year it's, "Make Us A
Video: How Does Dan Live?" And the prize is gift certificate for a peanut butter and honey sandwich. Pretty good point though. I mean, he had a bad heart, an awful heart, and then he was in one of the most horrific televised car smackings of all time, but he's survived well enough to be tortured? I wonder if they'll give him a chance to go ape ship, or if they'll have somebody unexpected save him and he'll be forced to become their butler. What I really want to see is, rather than make her a victim, have Brooke bring a wrath down on the criminal element of Tree Hill like Hurricane Hanna vigilante style. It would almost be two shows, one with the regular Tree Hill drama of Lucas and Peyton and what becomes of Jackson, and then another where Brooke is all on her own fighting crime.

Tim's Tiny Underwear

The only good thing that could possibly come from Dan dying is that we're one step closer to OTH: Ghost War. But no, unless he's still involved in the show somehow, I refuse to let him die. I want it to be Peyton too, I just wonder if they're ready to give us that satisfaction. They might jerk us around a little at first. Like he takes someone else to Vegas but it doesn't work out like we think he means it to. ARGH, that show just keeps me guessing! I just can't imagine them settling. Like, how could it not be Peyton? But, on the other hand, how CAN it be Peyton? They can't resolve that storyline can they?

The Skills and Deb thing, I can see it going one of two ways. Either the way you say, they get married and Nathan gets a new daddy. OR. Skills gets back with Bevin, she leaves Tim, and Tim and Deb end up together finally finishing what they started years earlier with Tim's tiny underwear. Either way. But yeah, Nathan dunking was incredible. Even Q had never seen anything like it, despite that he probably did that time after time earlier in the season. "I'm ready to do this!"

Something To Look Forward To

I really think we should have a youtube show where we review each episode weekly… in our pajamas in the middle of a field, on a beach, on a mountain top, swimming laps in a pool, thrift store shopping… it would be great.

Feelings About Murder

It is incredible that even after Dan murdered, in cold blood, my favorite character, I still feel for him… I still want him to be loved by his family, but at the same time, I want him to turn around and end up tricking everyone in the end… but I also want him to just play it straight and really be a changed person… I also want him to start training Nathan to become a cyborg basketball machine! I hope at least one of those things comes true… preferably the last one…

Anything You Want Me To Scream At Da Brundage??

Yes! "Jackson Brundage, I have special plans for you! Don't you like vests? Don't you like rubber boots?" Or if you can get close, all you have to do is whisper, "Follow the ice cream cone."

More About Our Record Store...

Adam K: If only my job was to hunt for LPs and then listen to them in a store and then
harass people when they want to buy OUR records... hmmmm... I wonder how we could manage that???

Adam M: The easiest way to manage it is probably a suicide pact. When the store goes under, we go under too. Then we don't ever have to worry about profits or success and can focus on basically having a storage/display room with regular business hours. And pancakes.

Adam K: Just show me where to sign and I'm in. It could totally just be the display room for the wacked out thrift store stuff that we deem to be priceless while the rest of the world deems it to be useless. I wonder what kind of syrup our customer's will desire? Pure Maple? Aunt Jemima? We'll probably have to have scheduled taste tests.

Adam M: I think offering that kind of choice goes completely against the nature of our store. They will eat what we tell them to eat. And they will pay us handsomely for it. It just occurred to me another great benefit of having pancakes in the store. We encourage the eaters to browse the store, and then charge them out the ass when they get their syrupy hands all over our records. "You got syrup on that record, you have to buy it. And that record is like forty dollars. Maybe more by the time we get it up to the register."

More Brundage

We are destined to form our own kidz bop group where we dress young and insist we are 15 years younger than we actually are, but we are fronted by Jackson Brundage in a wrestling unitard and skier's boots who has to insist that he's 10 years older than he actually is, in fact insisting he is older than we are.

Adam M: I was just informed that the CW is remaking 90210. Like 90210: TNG. WHAT?

Christy: yeah, um, haven't they already technically done that? Isn't it called
One Tree Hill?

Adam M: They could cross-pollinate and share storylines, and we'll finally get our John-Dan love affair. Though I wonder how Schwann feels about the whole thing. He probably thinks it's a travesty, and he's writing an episode of OTH that deals with it right now.

Adam M: Can I see Keith get shot twice? I think if I can survive that, I can survive anything.

Adam K: Make sure you bring a bucket for all your tears.

Adam M: I'll sit over the toilet like I'm vomiting, but really just raining tears and trying to keep up with the flushing.

Eddie To Mia's Iron Maiden

Just yet another reason they need to hand over all creative control of the show and its peripherals to US. Immediately! I want to see Atomic Jackson Brundage blown up 20 feet high to be the Eddie to Mia's Iron Maiden.

K-Fed Gets Punched

If the government gets ahold of all the emails I plan to write featuring Jackson Brundage, I will probably not be allowed to enter the basketball game on suspicion of being a child molester. Little do they know I don't want to molest him, I just want to make him wear a candy suit and speak into a bullhorn a language I'm making up for him on the spot.

It seems to me that it's about time for another concert tour. Now that they have Mia, K-Fed, and the revelation of Tim's rap skills. The Peyton's Label Tour, one act that's around for three songs. And every night K-Fed gets punched in the mouth half a song in.

Dance Jackson Brundage!

My plan is to cop a Chris Keller attitude on the entire proceedings. I'm going to force Jackson Brundage into being my mascot for the day. Make him wear a block torso with frosted cookies painted on all sides and constantly do a dance that looks like him standing up pedaling a wheelchair backwards. Dance Jackson Brundage! St. Judes has had its time, today's about me!

If Only!

We need to convince them to just give us one episode to play with. Just give us the superstars for a couple of days and license to do what we want with them. Then we make Lucas eat himself, watch Dan lift weights for 30 minutes, and have a side story about Jackson Brundage turning atomic.

Skip-It

Adam M: I was trying to think of what the best shoe would be to have a Skip-It around, and the only one that comes to mind would be the Batman Chuck Taylor's that came out around the time of the movie.

Side Rant About Owning A Wilmington Record Store...

Adam K: Absolutely! The crazy thing is that I saw the tiny building just to the right of it up for sale on one of the real estate sites... I think it was going for $669,000. We've got that much in records, right? The ground floor is retail and the 2nd and 3rd floors are living space...but it's next to the cigar store, so it probably reeks it hard. Either way, I bought it and I'm moving in on Saturday.

Adam M: We use it to our advantage by powering our pancake griddle with cigars. Basically you put a skillet on top of a tower that's made of a bunch of cigars tied together, light it, and make pancakes. And it's convenient too, because when people complain that their pancakes smell like cigars, we just grab a cigar which goes well with the blood-stains on our aprons, makes us look grisly, and we say, "EAT IT. And buy something you freeloader! Those pancakes aren't free. Would you like a pancake refill? NOT FREE."

Adam K: We are seriously going to PUSH these pancakes on people... Come for records, leave with unreasonably priced, cigar infused 'cakes. And I think you are on to something with the blood soaked aprons... if we could sell them, pre-stained, we would be in the megabucks...

Adam M: People are pretty much going to buy whatever we tell them to buy. I guess this will start out a record store, but it'll probably end up just selling whatever we can get our hands on. Sort of like an antique store, except the stuff won't be old or worth anything more than the value we assign to it, which is mostly a value of being clever, and even that is only in the story we can come up with that goes along with the product. So I guess we'll have to write the story down and sell it along with whatever the thing is, which turns whatever it is into art, which seriously ups the price we will demand for it.

Adam K: I think that is a primo idea. Especially if we just sell homemade arts n'
crafts made entirely of elbow macaroni and elmers and say that everything was made by Helen Keller, mother of Great Grandmother of Chris Keller (gotta rope the OTH fans in).

Adam M: Macaroni, elmers, and construction paper. Just spray the paper with glue and then throw macaroni at it. "This is what we think Helen Keller art looks like. PAY ME."

Adam K: And pay they will! It's gonna be 75 in The W tomorrow... mother...

Adam M: Sonuvabitch. Is it going to be rainy? Not that it matters really. Rain just makes the sweatshirts more dramatic.

Potato Gun Hands That Shoot Pizza Hut Mini-Basketballs

They've probably been spying on our emails this entire time and next season things are going to seem eerily familiar to us. Or maybe we just start blind copying all emails to Schwann and as long as we put in some dream sequences he'll probably eat it up. But the dream sequences will be the normal parts of the show where the characters are still humans and do things like sit and eat lunch, and then it goes back to reality where they are all half cyborg with potato gun hands that shoot Pizza Hut mini-basketballs.

OTH on Sci-Fi

Man...when is someone involved with the show gonna spy on our emails and realize that we are writing geniuses... then offer us head writer positions when the show makes it big transition to the Sci-fi Channel.

Stained-Glass Keith

Hopefully Lindsay will finally throw some chairs at people. I was disappointed when it turned out the chair at the library was going to be thrown at a window. By the end of the episode, it'll probably get reduced to everybody Hulking out while Lucas sits on the altar and cries. And he sees Keith in a stained-glass window and Keith winks at him.

Basketballs Hitting Faces

That would be an incredible scene, definitely especially if he took out the church without screaming or glass breaking, just the dull thudding sounds of basketballs hitting faces.

That is truly a wonderful image in my head right now... Dan walking down the aisle (I hate the way that word is spelled), staring down Lucas, while the basketballs fly around the room killing people... all making supremely loud dribbling sounds.

Magneto Style

I think maybe Dan needs another basketball, and then he wields them like Magneto wields those two little iron balls when he destroys the plastic prison in X2. He takes out an entire cathedral using nothing more than two basketballs.

Basketball Full of Bees

My guess is that he's gonna fill that basketball he bought with bees and throw it at the altar to create a diversion... the bees are gonna go MENTAL and bust out of the ball and Dan is going to kidnap Peyton and take her to Evil Derek's lair...who is orchestrating the whole thing.

Self Taught Push-ups

I think he's probably taught himself to do push-ups while he sleeps. Eight hours straight of push-ups and he doesn't even know it or feel it. I think he will come back and assume the mayorship, and nobody will object, because he is ten times their size and growing.

Man, next week is going to be awesome!!! Dan is so huge and scary, I think he must take steroids just for the show! I can't wait to see what happens, the minister will say "does anyone object" and in will walk Dan, dribbling that basketball he bought, and will slam dunk through the flowers on the altar. Its going to be so boss! So my
theory that Peyton just can't make it work, so she picks up and leaves was wrong, because she was able to pay Brooke back. And excuse me, but who is stupid enough to leave a wad of cash sitting out to tempt a heroin addict? Who saw that coming from a mile away?? I feel like something really huge is going to happen, since it is the 100th episode. We better soak it up too, because it is the last one for a bit, until the one we guest star on.

Mustache Fangs

I think what probably happens after they stop filming is that every night, Nathan goes to wherever he's staying at the time and stares at the ceiling for hours and goes, "Oh MAN! THAT'S what I should have said! That would have been PERFECT!" They just never film that part, and by the next week he's forgotten. But, I have a feeling that as of next week, they're going to have much bigger problems to deal with. Like, how do you hang onto your life when an enormous man with a mustache resembling fangs is out to get you?

Not really OTH: GW related, but...

Don't get me wrong, I am primed for some TV work, seeing how it's all done and all that. And now primed to trick Hilarie Burton into a Freaks and Geeks quote war and making it really uncomfortable when I start only quoting awkward Nick/Lindsay lines. But I'm definitely stoked about taking in Wilmington. I was thinking, they use MacBooks on the show right? They probably need a Mac Tech to personally attend to all their MacBooks right? I will do it, I will offer to be on call 24 hours a day to fix whatever comes up on their laptops, and all I require is that they pay all my expenses for life.

Poor Jeff Healey

I'm free of evil Dan nightmares for now, probably because I watched a special feature this weekend that had him in red satin boxers and a Santa hat. I met John Sears on Saturday, that was wonderful. He was scheming on Steve Sanders like he was Keith, he could so easily be a mini-Dan. Poor Jeff Healey. So I guess there's an opening at the Double Deuce? Prime opportunity for the No Means Yes reunion.

Callisthenic Dans

I hope you are free of evil Dan nightmares. And that your dreams are now filled with callisthenic Dans jogging in place around you.

Dan Dreams

The Dan dreams have totally messed with my head. I must have been asleep all night, but feel like I got no sleep at all. Cuz I just spent all night being horrified.

You should be able to sue people for leaving their alarms on.

Those Dan dreams must have been both terrifying and scintillating.

Frightening Dreams

Oh my God. I had a back-up of 3 SoapNet episodes I watched last night, the last of which was Keith's wedding day. Then most of the night, it seemed, I had some pretty frightening dreams starring Dan. He was definitely chasing me with a gun for a while. I remember I knocked him down the stairs at least once and he just stood right back up and started coming after me. Seems a little desperate and easy for Dan, but I guess he really wanted me out of the way. Those dreams beat the hell out of me, I have a huge headache now.

Bret Hart Wrap-Around Shades

Hahaha, YES. OTH: GHOST WAR, that's a big deal. Dan Scott and John Sears join forces and molest the child Keith in the Clothes Over Bros store. And then Peyton's moms come back with proton-packs and Dan Scott and John Sears meld into Gozer. And then it's seriously on! The episode begins with a zooming out shot from a black sky, which zooms out and it turns out to be black with ravens, and then Lucas narrates, "John the Revelator once wrote: Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him." And it pans down to a shot of Dan standing in a graveyard in a black trench coat and black Bret Hart wrap-around shades.

Lucas says, "Even so" and Dan gets a shit-eating grin on his face and says, "Amen," kills himself and then, black title screen. Come back, he rises from the grave and gets his evil on after he tests his superhuman powers with pull-ups and cardio.

Dick Pepper Action!

Yes! I cannot wait for next week's! And I agree about Tim... god I love his character. I have decided to totally believe that he was a ghost in that episode... with the speech in the beginning about how souls haunt the places they die and also how they faded him away at the end... I also think I've been reading too much about lost and that it's spilling over to how I perceive other shows. ;) But still, how amazing would it be if suddenly the show turned extremely supernatural and Keith came back and Dante came back and there was a massive ghost war. There needs to be a show like THAT! I think we're gonna have to create it... I think the first thing to do would have Dan kill himself so that he could rise from the dead with evil devil powers and head straight for the child ghost of Keith... they could battle underground at the cemetery... and fall out boy could play, or something. :)

One more day till Dick Pepper action!

TIM

Tim = HELL YES. "Who wants a piece? Extra sausage." But I definitely thought the best part was the preview of next week. Dan should be more evil than ever, he's had a lot of time to exercise in prison. I don't think all that exercise could possibly rehabilitate him, only make him more angry. And more cunning.

Sears vs. Scott: The Battle for Humanity will have to begin production soon!

JS vs. DS

Now we have to make a John Sears vs. Dan Scott movie, but I have a lot to learn about John Sears before I can help in planning it.

Or Maybe Crossbow

Gunpoint yes. Or maybe crossbow. It was awesome, I was thinking about that yesterday and then one of my back-logged episodes on SoapNet began with Dan doing some secret push-ups, secret to hide that his heart was better. Imagine loving push-ups so much that he does them even though they can destroy his precious lie!

Precisely...

Their videotaped line readings would be at gunpoint, right?

Their videotaped line readings would be at gunpoint, right?

The Plan Is This:

The plan is this: we make a list of lines we want characters to say, then make a trip down to Wilmington, kidnap the cast, divvy up the lines, videotape their readings, and then edit that into a cut 'n paste episode. I already know I want Dan to talk about doing just about every exercise known to man. We can knock them out quick. Just have him standing in a sweat-stained t-shirt and shorts that hug his thighs saying, "I was just doing some jumping jacks," "That was an intense routine of squat thrusts," "That set of bicycle crunches almost killed me." And then we can release them.

The Seed

Oh my god we need to write a tv show together. Even if the only reason is to have a character say "Ooo yeah you disgusting hooker" on tv.

Incredible.

Ooo Yeah You Disgusting Hooker

That Nanny Carrie is just gross. You have to be at least a little proud of Nathan for at least looking shocked and not enticed, not like "Ooo yeah you disgusting hooker, my wife is gone and I like it." But yeah, he should take some initiative and fire/replace her. And then she'll go all Fatal Attraction and boil their child while he makes observations beyond his years.